I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
