At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
