so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
