is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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