at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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