Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sober January is a disaster.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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