That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
