Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
