Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
