thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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