Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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