Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
