You work out of a Hotel?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
