Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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