I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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