Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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