Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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