I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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