when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize