I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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