he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
