I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
