I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize