How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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