Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
