I bet he comes in French.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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