yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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