and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
