Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
