i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
