I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
