I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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