She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
