I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
