I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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