Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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