Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
