i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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