I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
