If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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