you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
