Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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