is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
