Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
