He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
