some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
vagina is talking i cant
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize