He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
