i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
