I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
