He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize