K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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