On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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