the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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