Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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