what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
