I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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