So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
