she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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