$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize