ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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