i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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