It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
