So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
