I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
