"it" just moved
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
