every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
wow bdsm is so cute
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
