One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize