I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
